I don't think anyone's skate name is that scary, really.

Anyway we used to have a thread that was like "ABOUT US" and it was quite funny and good for "bonding" etc.

I thought I would restart it! I don't know where the old one is.


So, hello! My name is Jasmine. It's a terrible name which I hate, and everyone calls me Jazz, apart from my mad Catholic granny. My skate name is CROTCH LIGHTNING which isn't really a pun or anything it's just two quite good words put together.

I am 21 years old, ginger and a Scorpio. I know how to read Tarot cards and used to exchange card readings for couches to sleep on/food to eat while I was travelling. I don't actually believe in it at all though. It's mostly just about being good at telling people what they want to hear.

I started skating 2 years ago when I got back from a travelfest in America. the first teams I ever saw skate were the MEMPHIS HUSTLIN' ROLLERS and THE NASHVILLE MUSIC CITY ALL STARS and THE KNOXVILLE HARD KNOX ROLLER GIRLS at an annual tournie they do called "The Honky Tonk Stomp". It took me approx. 3 seconds to fall in love with Roller Derby.

My roller derby heroes are probably Ewan Wotarmy, Whippity Pow and Joy Collision. Shaolynn Scarlett from LRG is also a bit of a role model, as a fellow moonface and pivot. I also think we maybe started skating at the same time? I like skaters who are radge without being lone wolves. Pretty much everyone who skates for ARRG is also a derby hero. It's funny when I think about starting out because I used to be really scared of "Violet Vitreol" and "Daisy Disease" (you may know them by different names these days) because I thought they were really cool and stuff, but then I realised they are actually both quite weird and easy to talk to about life etc, and so now they are my pals. I would still really like to skate like Mallory Powers though because she is easily one of the best pack players in the league even if she is not that cool. Ha.

Apart from skating I really like 80s pop music, dinosaurs, Disney films, and TV shows by Joss Whedon. I kind of really like watching TV in general. I also spent about 15 years of my life trying to be a Ballerina but then I realised that was pretty ridiculous as I have no rhythm and too much boob. I still love Ballet though and my faves are Giselle and Romeo & Juliet.

My dad is called "Steve" and is quite a weird man and practically a hermit. I am probably going to turn into a female clone of him when I hit about 35, I am already well on my way. He is really good though and is basically my role model for life. He just does what he wants and doesn't care if everyone else including me thinks that he is a freak.

I live with my derby wife Minnie Riot who is definitely one of the best people I have ever met. She makes me laugh hysterically on average twice a day.

Um I am kind of an emotional/social retard and am happiest when sitting in my room and having a wee cry. (although i do love going dancing. a lot.)

Now you go!

Ok my turn, yay! I am quite narcissistic, I love to talk about myself

My real name is Morag Ford... this caused me no end of grief as an already weird kid who moved around a lot as a child and was therefore always the new kid on the block (NB - if I ever left ARRG - horror! - I'd like to be a New Skid on the Block). Anyway, one day it dawned on me that my name shortens pretty nicely to Mo Fo. Things have been looking up ever since.

I heard about derby when a friend came back from travelling around the USA (it wasn't Jazz) and told me about it. I remember thinking "let's set up a league here!"... but we never did! I know a couple of folks who have now left but were founding members of ARRG, and I reeeeaaallly wanted to join, but as a youth worker, my bread and butter hours were evenings and weekends. Eventually, I came to my first bout as a zombie jeerleader (ha, back in the day when we still had *entertainment*) and was hooked. I gave up one of my many 5-hour-a-week jobs so I could skate at least once a week. I wanted a name with Mo Fo in it, but all the good ones were gone. So was Mo Lester. So I became Mo B Quick and had to ditch my glittery trainers with wheels so I could start trying to live up to my name.

So I work with da yoof and my ambition is to have some sort of edgy musical theatre project for troubled teens. Yes you can have "edgy" and "musical theatre" in the same sentence, honest! It'll be like Glee, but far more radge. I am obsessed with Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Rocky Horror, Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Little Shop of Horrors and Rent. I went to music school when I was younger... I was a metal head and a choir geek at the same time. I ran away from music school and spent years trying to forget everything I'd learned. Then I got nodules on my vocal chords and suddenly realised I wanted to sing again. I had an operation and I'm working on that.

My favourite places in the world that I've been to so far are the North of India and the Arizona desert. I skated in a bout at Burning Man festival in Nevada - just on a wooden track set up out in the open desert. It was one of the most surreal experiences ever. I was too shy to really talk to anyone or get up to jam. Some of the girls were skating in nipple tape and pants

I alm scared of spiders and sometimes heights. I don't mind addressing a massive group of people at all but I still get nervous about introducing myself to new people individually. Although actually, derby has helped with that (among other things).

Ok, I'll have a go now!!!!

My real name is Laura Walker, I’m 27 years old and am a radiographer at the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. I have worked there for 5 years now and love it there. I work with fantastic people and get to see some pretty amazing/gross things. I always have a story to tell about funny/gross things that happen at work so just ask if you'd like to hear them.

I got into derby as one of my friends from work had started and said i should go along. I had recently broken up with a long term boyfriend and needed a new challenge. Something new to concentrate on and if it got me fit at the same time that would be a bonus. After my 1st practice I loved it but had a bit of a crisis of confidence and almost didn't go back to training. Boy am I glad that i didn't give up. The 1st game i saw was prisoner of Askaslam and after seeing Zillah and juicy jamming I was hooked and wanted to be just like them.

I don’t really remember how the name Kaos moss came about but I wanted a name that could be shortened and though being called Kaos would be fun to answer to at practice as I am the opposite of chaotic. I'm also a geak and love the idea of the chaos theory and how it affects our world. I also like skate moss but that was taken so I guess it’s a mesh of both.

I'm a simple sort of a girl, I like cooking/baking/jam making, listening to music and anything outdoorsy like rock climbing or kayaking. I'm allergic to kiwi fruits so don’t feed me one unless you want a accompany me to hospital and I hate the feel of velvet (weird childhood phobia as my mum used to make me wear it). I also play the saxophone and have flown a two-seater plane.

I used to be a really shy person. I never really liked being the centre of attention or in large groups of people that i didn't know. Derby has helped me in a lot of ways including increasing my confidence and fitness level. I also would never have met the awesome people otherwise.

Derby came crashing into my life and I’m not sure what I’d now do without it! x

Hello! My name is Kirsty Greer (shhh!) but these days nobody calls me that, not even my mother.
I am a born and bred edinburger, but spent a year and a half living in Swansea (dont ask). I work at Scottish Widows in corporate Pensions so I have to wear grown-up clothes during the day.
Outside of roller derby, I like sewing, reading and music! Me and Freddie Mercury are best friends, but Lemmy is my god-father.
I moved back from Wales about 4 years ago and started playing Roller Derby in June 2008 after going to the Nautical but Nice fundraiser at City with a friend of a friend. Roller Derby makes me a bigger, better, braver version of myself and I love the opportunities it has led to. I get to meet all the best people go on all the best road trips and dance at all the best parties! I feel like a celebrity most of the time, but appreciate what a lucky girl I am!

I don't think I had a derby name last time this went up, so I'll go for it this time.

Hi, my real name is Kim Hutton and I've been playing derby since October last year. I have to say, I got into it purely because of Whip It, as I had never seen or heard of roller derby before it. I mentioned something about liking the look of the movie, and someone on Facebook replied saying Edinburgh had a team! I liked the idea of it before I even saw the movie, but I think I sent in my fresh meat email the day after I got around to watching it. It just looked too much fun!

I wanted a derby name that summed up a part of me, and after spending a lot of time looking through two evils and seeing it was going to be harder than I first thought, I decided to go for something that sounded very Scottish, and was therefore more likely to be claimable. I picked Pixxie because of my short hair and Deep Fried because of the Scottish-ness (and also because it almost sounds like Deep Fried Pizza.) My mum dislikes my name because it's not enough of a pun for her, but hey ho.

When I'm not at derby I work at bigmouthmedia with Cherry and Stitches (we're slowly taking over) and craft pretty much most of the time. I also enjoy playing my Xbox and dancing to bad emo music.

I dream of being a jammer, if I could just get over my fear of skating very fast into a group of people from behind, but considering how far I've come since my first time skating I know I can get there.

And now that my man plays derby too, it's double fun!

I was waiting for le wife to post hehe. My derby wife is Deep Fried Pixxie. Though I also have a real wife who is called Dawn and is a Senior Psychiatric Nurse.

My real name is Jodie, and I first heard about derby from my friend Ginny who helped start the Liverpool Roller Birds. She was so obsessed about derby from the start, and it took her a year to persuade me to go as I was always too busy. She actually came up to Scotland and took me to a bout and the minute I saw it, I was hooked. It was Glasgow -v- London Rockin Rollers and i didn't have a clue what was happening for the first period! Ginny tried to explain and by the second half i got it a bit more and loved it.

I heard about ARRG from Blazin Phoenix, who I have known for years. She said it was a lovely friendly team, and I fell in love with derby and with ARRG the minute I joined. I chose my name 'Knock-Turnal' because i am actually slightly nocturnal. I have this 'thing' where I only need 4 hours sleep a night. So every night i'm awake ridiculously early, so wide awake that lying in bed is unpleasurable because I spend the hours obsessing about things i'm worried about ... so i get up early when everyone but posties are awake and watch CSI or Criminal Minds or Dexter or other serial killer re-runs. I consider it the gift of time.

During the day I recruit and train youth workers for a charity that supports young lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people all over Scotland. I love my job, it's the best job i've ever had and the people I work with are amazing. I get involved in diversity training with the police and civil servants and the nhs and have important meetings with the scottish government and i never take my piercings out and am always amazed that people take me seriously because basically i bumble through life in my own little world 90% of the time.

I was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder about 6 years ago. If you smell TCP at practice, it's me. I don't have it *that* bad - i've met people who have it who are debilitated by it. But it made derby very hard for me. I have to actively distract myself from the evil thoughts screaming in my head at pretty much every practice and i wash my stuff so much that i've had to replace it a few times as the velcro all wears off and my knee pads are misshapen! However I just think it's something quirky and not that annoying really. I could get pills for it but i don't believe in medicating something unless it's really an issue.

I am totally obsessed with roller derby now and couldn't imagine it not being in my life. I'm not a natural skater - i've never been a natural anything. sometimes it feels like i have to work a million times as hard as any other human to be even remotely good on skates. i steal practice time from perth and dundee and am a bootcamp queen as all the extra time on skates has made me just a little tiny bit more stable and confident. it will take me a lot longer than most people to be amazing and sometimes that makes me cry and makes me sad and makes me feel frustrated but NEVER makes me feel like giving up, because no one really achieves anything in life without having to work f***ing hard at it. ps i also swear way too much and wish i didn't -i blame the parents

I will have a go.

My real name is Jane and I was named after Jane Austen, which I used to hate, because I was too young to appreciate dark humour. I'm 30 and I'm a biologist. I work at the university working computer magic on DNA sequences and generally being a grumpy geek and telling people they're doing things wrong (not my fault - they are!). My derby name is a silly pun on Depeche Mode/grannies/being fast (I was fast when I got that name, okay?). I got into derby because one of my best friends started training with GRG. I went with her to see the ARRG/GRG double-header last year and she literally pushed me into Moxie's arms and told her I was joining ARRG. I was quite nervous but everyone was so friendly and welcoming at my fresh meat that I soon got over that.

You might have noticed that I have a weird, mongrel accent. That's because I was born in Brighton, moved to Chicago when I was four and moved to Edinburgh when I was 16. I probably feel most at home in Edinburgh out of all those places. I have a bit of a photographic memory and I get upset when they change bus routes.

I am not much of a party person and have never been properly drunk in my life, although I seem to be getting a lot more sociable as I get older. Instead I usually go home early to read my book. Also, I have a dog so I can't stay out all night partying as he needs walking first thing in the morning. I do not function well without sleep - but I'm also lucky because I can sleep almost anywhere. If you ever see me turn into a massive misery guts, feed me. Seriously.

Derby has forced me to be less shy and nervous, which is great. While I initially found skating quite easy, I found the team sport aspect really hard as I've never really been part of a team before. It's also taught me skills I never thought I would need - like how to use a drill and a hacksaw to build a pair of rollerskates.

Well I thought I might as well give this a go as not many of you know me very well!!

My real name is Kate but I go by DisloKate on the forum. My name kinda speaks for itself! I have a connective tissue disorder which makes my joints very hypermobile so I dislocate easily. I am super sporty and was from a very young age, I used to do cross country running, track running, hurdles, long jump, football, rugby, field hockey (where i was the goalie - you wouldnt think it to look at me as im stick thin!!), badminton, essentially i loved playing sports. The only things I refused to do were gymnastics (crap balance) and swimming (terrified of being in the water). Had to give up all sports as whenever I played my joints would dislocate, so it was the only natural choice for a name!

I would dearly love to skate, but the combination of bad balance, bad joints and bad health in general doesnt make for the best skater!

I heard about ARRG a few years back but was always working on the days of the bouts so never really made it along, I then watched whip it and really loved the idea of this woman orrientated sport that was just a little bit aggressive (i love a bit of combat in sport!!). I work in a nursing home as an activities co-ordinator and one day got chatting to one of the nurses (sweaty boop) she convinced me to get on the forum and told me about the next bout. I booked the day off work and was in love the minute I walked in the door!

Things you should know about me? Well the main thing which dominates my life is my health (sadly). I've got some weird health issues which always baffle doctors. I've spent nearly 3 years being house bound due to bad health and in that time I really got into my crafty hobbies. I sew alot, make felt, stitch, essentially anything crafty and I've tried it and got hooked! I've taught many of my friends how to sew on the machine and am always happy to get someone hooked. I sell all my wears so if you ever need a gift for someone let me know!

Random facts about me: I value the elderly but not the young (I can't stand children and can barely tolerate them so never ask me to baby sit for you!).
I am terrified of seagulls (have you seen the ones that live in Edinburgh!!?!!).
I am a really fussy eater, which made me an odd ball at school, I would be eating salt sandwiches when everyone else would be eating chips!
I am a VERY patient person but can scare the crap out of people when they piss me off!
I have never had a drop of alcohol in my life and im 27.
I am very observant (my partner calls me radar - from mash).
I always do whatever I can to help someone but never expect much in return.
I'm very quiet and mellow and hate spur of the moment changes to plans that have been made!
I'm a very honest person and will always give an honest answer when asked a question. I'm very open about my health issues as I would rather educate people than pretend everything is fine.

So essentially that is me! I could go on for hours but had better wrap it up there!

Luv n stuff
DisloKate

ok, ill jump in here

Im feeNOMinal, real name Fiona Livingstone. I am the ripe old age of 38 and have a 9 yr old changeling called Erin, or Bitesize as we like to call her, she is a terrific wee skater and can transition, lateral and shoot the duck on demand... also claims to be able to skate 25 laps in 4.30 mins!!!

I got my derby name from being called Fee, my fav word being nom and also from a conversation with Jazz where she said that my name should be feenominal because when people ask me how much i charge for the cakes i make i can say that i only charge a 'nominal fee' hahahaaaa... i LOVE my derby name... its me!

I am a baker and master cake maker... Ive made some pretty unusual cakes for people over time including pikachu, yoshi, a man fishing, treasure chests, spongebob, a scotsman sitting on big ben! and also dirty boobie cakes too , I also make cards, am very handy with a sewing machine.

Ive been know in my day for being a massive party animal but lately ive calmed down a lot but still have the occasional blow out where you will probably find me dancing like a complete freak or in the corner telling you how much i love you.

I fell in love with derby from the day I went to watch my first bout - Fishnet Burns and thought that I want to do this, but having never strapped on a pair of skates in my life, it took me almost a year before i plucked up the nerve to join up for fresh meat.... been with arrg now since April 2010

Im a tad accident prone (lol) since ive started skating ive had a fractured coccyx, a concussion and a dislocated hip along with many many bruises!! which has seen me off skates more than on, but im still persevering and keep getting up... Im very happy to be on the rec team now and *touch wood* fully healed and building my strength back up.

random facts.... Im allergic to kiwi fruit, shellfish and also gluten intolerant... purple is my fav colour, I cant wear gold as it will turn my skin green!! also cant wear watches as I 'kill' them... seriously.. they start going backwards and other weird goings on. Ive seen a ghost, Ive had predictive dreams about events that have then happened... I suffer from depression, especially in the winter.

derby is the best thing ive ever got involved with in my life... Im a lot more confident, Ive made some fantastic AWESOME friends. its all good really.

Alrighty,


I'm Circuit Breaker a.k.a Kayleigh Rix. That's my legal name - which wouldn't seem very important but since I was six (when my parents were divorced) my mum changed my name to one of my nan's many ex-husbands surname and for some time I had no official documentation as my birth certificate had 2 completely different surnames! This made it very difficult to get a bank account and even harder to get my provisional license - I've never had a passport.

Well I'm "civil partnered” which sounds retarded so I say married. Fiona is my wife and I took her surname because it was far cooler than "Fennell, Laidlaw, Reid, Mc Gill" or any other of the dodgy names I could choose from. Sorry if anyone has any of those names but let’s face it how many people have an X in their surname!

My relationship with Fiona is the only serious relationship I've been in and I did find her online - Now this isn't because I'm a freaky pervert and/or have no "Real" friends. Frankly until Fiona, I didn't believe that there were any point in "serious-romantic-relationships" and thought Marriage was a scam! Most people I know have been divorced the same amount of times they've been married and the marriages that did last were unhappy and some were violent.

ANYHOOOOOOO I met Fiona online in some forum banter, we became friends and then I noticed that I couldn't live without her (which took some time to realise) so I met up with her in Glasgow while she was there for the day and then I invited myself to her house for a visit as she live AAAAAGEEES away - we've been together 4 years and married for 1 (all pretty happy with rainbows despite our equally insane families).

I'm a Student Robotocist however it is only 3rd on the list of careers I wanted to follow. It didn't seem possible to become a Power Ranger (No. 1) and I still struggle daily whether or not I should drop out of uni and *try* to become a Fire Fighter.

I fell in love with derby pretty quickly, I’d been thinking about it on and off for a few months after it’s rise to fame on tv, movies, and the fringe however never really looked into anything. At some point someone said to me that since I’m obsessed with trying different kick ass sports why on earth I haven’t looked at derby. So I googled it, found ARRG emailed and was lucky enough to fall into May’s Fresh Meat program. I was intending on holding off on buying all the equipment until a couple of sessions (as I had some cheap equipment available) but the bug set in before my first lesson and I spent my money and although it’s only just started I don’t think anyone will be able to tear me away!

Although I'm fairly social however I'm not outgoing AT ALL and prefer to sit in all by my lonesome kicking pads, doing sit ups and day dreaming about winning the lottery or meeting aliens. I'm completely inept at small talk and usually to forget to ask people how they are right after they've asked me first (really sorry guys!). I'm far too open minded for my own good (it is possible!!!) and I'm fiercely loyal to friends and family - If you need help disposing a body or even killing an obnoxious neighbour for kicking your dog (or whatever) I'm your girl